Rising Strong: By Brene Brown

 

We have all had our bad days where the only thing we’re capable of doing is to shed tears on the couch. Those helpless days and nights go by really slow, and the pain keeps on expanding and attaching itself to our bodies and minds. With that, we're simply helpless beings, surrounded by darkness. 

 

Sometimes, we get the urge to force ourselves out of our comfort zone and pretend that none of what’s happening is real. But we never succeed in doing so. It’s always the feeling of something or a force that is dragging us down again. As a result, we would just stay indoors and cry till there are no more tears left for us to wipe.

 

At times of weakness and solitude, we would aim for nothing but a shoulder to cry on and a warm long hug that takes all the heavy weight away. Regardless of what we feel deep down and what we want, our egoistic minds and high self-esteem stops us from seeking help and reach out to someone close. If you’re that kind of a person (like me), Then don’t worry I got you a free therapy session and a long warm hug from a stranger who lives far across the globe.

 

The book I’m digging in today is something personal to me. I mean, I’m not a fan of self-help books because I believe that we all experience different things and cope with those feelings differently. Yet, this book is a treasure, its everything a broken, weak, and helpless person needs to rise up again and yell to the world I’M BACK AND I’M STAYING!. 

 

Rising Strong, By the genius Brene Brown, is a warm conversation with a stranger who pushes you to stand up on your feet again by expressing your emotions to the world with no shame or guilt. The book is literally a life guide that you can consider as a silent friend. On the days where everything seems black and you feel like hiding under the blanket, just open a random page and  the words that you’ll get your eyes on will be your guide to survive the day. 

 

No matter how bad your day is going and how harsh you are being on yourself, never permit the idea of not being enough cross your mind. For that idea will lead you into an endless dark pitch of self-doubt and self-hate. With that being said, allow me to ease your day and delight you with the following quote from the master herself, Brene Brown, "No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am brave and worthy of love and belonging".

 

We tend to hide ourselves and our emotions, but we never take into consideration the outcome of it. The more we hide, the heavier the burden inside us would feel and be. As Brene Borwn stated in the book “Because hiding out, pretending, and armoring up against vulnerability are killing us: killing our spirits, our hopes, our potential, our creativity, our ability to lead, our love, our faith, and our joy". We need to have the courage to express ourselves. Regardless of what others would think and say, we are normal, this is a normal human behavior. As humans we need to be humane on ourselves, and this is the first step into the process. 

As far as this conversation goes, let’s think about how we cope with personal pain and unexpected downfalls. We have all felt pain somewhere in our lives, this pain might have faded away somehow, but not forgotten. I apologize in advance if I’ll be reminding you of someone you have lost or a heartbreak you have recently had. But recovery requires us to be brave enough to face it and put an end to it. 

 People might be professionals and experts in hiding their feelings, but trust me once they’re alone, they’ll weep and get it all out while having their third slice of pizza.

The idea in here is not to hide yourself or your emotions. Its ok to cry in the office, its ok to ask for a tissue from your coworker to get the tears away from your mascara or your brand-new shirt that your partner just got you. It’s fine. And you’ll eventually be ok. As stated in the book "the goal of this process is to rise from our falls, overcome our mistakes, and face hurt in a way that brings more wisdom and wholeheartedness". This is the process of recovery. Recovery from something or an event that caused you unforgettable pain. It’s a slow process indeed. Yet, the outcome of it would make you want to applaud for yourself. 

 

Opening up to someone about what you really feel is not easy, trust me I know that. But yearning to do so gives you the push and the courage needed. Its not about comfort, it’s all about sharing the burden. You obviously will not open up to someone you just met on twitter or Instagram. It requires someone who understands you and knows you very well that they are willing not only to share the burden with you but are ready to carry it for you. This is the idea of having a companion. And wait I’m not only referring to spouses or partners. It can easily be a family member, a close friend, a sister, a brother, a colleague, a cousin or even a parent. It doesn’t matter, who you are close with or the age gap between you. Just have the courage to open up to the closest person or people you’re surrounded with, for this is the whole idea concerning integrity. As stated in the book "Integrity is choosing courage over comfort ..".

 

If we decide to equate things and start reasoning ourselves  on why we are that uncomfortable on speaking up, we will ultimately say it’s because of shame. We’re always ashamed of what we’re going through, ashamed of what people are gonna say, ashamed of ourselves, ashamed of our bodies, ashamed of our ideas and thoughts. Shame and judgment are close-knitted friends, I mean, we feel ashamed because we fear judgment. Yet, this is not what living is all about. Living is all about knowing and experiencing things, good or bad. You experience each and every emotion with no shame or guilt and that's exactly the what the book will teach you and lead you to. 

Finally, I’ll end this warm serious conversation by quoting our marvelous author on what she said on the idea of shame. I hope this short quote will wake you up and change your habits for good !

 

"Shame can’t survive being spoken. 

It thrives on secrecy, silence, and judgment. 

If we can share our

 experience of shame someone who responds 

with empathy, shame can’t survive" 

 

 

Recommended pages from the Book

-       Vulnerability (Pg.,XViii).

-       Quote on being enough (Pg. XiX).

-       Quote on hiding emotions (Pg.XiX).

-       The goal of the process quote (Pg. 40).

-       Integrity quote (Pg.123).

-       Quote on Shame (Pg.195).

-       Rules of engagement and Rising Strong (Pg. 5-11).

-       The Rising Strong Process (Pg.40- 41).

-       Curiosity and Vulnerability (Pg. 52-58).

-       Pain and our ego (Pg.66).

-       Shame and guilt (Pg. 194-196)